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Can't believe how long I forgot to do this. Games that I've played in the last eight months that would've been on the list: PixelJunk Eden
PixelJunk Monsters
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (would probably be about third or fourth place)
Shadow of the Colossus
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Suikoden II Huh. Can that be it? Probably. I spent a ton of time on a few games that were already on the list, too. Anyway... 1. Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal (2004, PS2) 
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 6. Probably a bit higher, but I play this series constantly, so I've gotten pretty good at it. Oh, wait! The final boss on this one is crazy, so let's bump it up to 8.
Played it with: It's a one-player game. Cathy always seems to be hanging about, though. And Mari loves watching this game.
Did I complete it? A couple of times.
Others in the series: The original, Going Commando, Deadlocked, Tools of Destruction, Quest for Booty. I haven't played Size Matters, but every one of the others (besides super-short Quest for Booty) would be high on the list.
Really, for this list, my first question was: which game in this series to make number one? I have spent a ridiculous amount of time with these games; though my policy is never to replay anything because of how many games I have, I can never hold to that as it relates to this series. In fact, just last week, I blew through Tools of Destruction for a second time between trying to finish many, many other games. Ratchet is a lombax from...Kerwan? One of the many planets on this series, anyway. Clank falls from the sky and helps him fix his ship, and from there, the entire series is born. The storylines are a little Final Fantasy-ish in that they always start on a decent scale but work their way up to saving the entire galaxy. Pop culture is constantly lampooned in the series, the fourth wall is broken on occasion for the hell of it, there are tons of non-playable, idiotic characters that appear in every game, and the whole mood is pretty funny. On top of that, in each game there are about thirty different weapons to collect, all of which can be upgraded by being used and all of which fit certain situations better than any other weapon. Particularly fun and stupid is the "Sheepinator," which yes, turns your enemies into harmless sheep. From there, there's an arena where you can fight epic half-hour endurance battles, a few flight quests that don't break up the fun of the main storyline, and an awesome/hilarious villain in Dr. Nefarious, who has a big dome covering his alien head that sometimes picks up AM radio and makes him unable to move until his sidekick slaps him. Really, the games in this series are similar enough that I probably could've picked any of them, but this one is the most streamlined and perfect. And now, well, I'm going to go play it again. Damn it.
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The first one was replaced with one of higher quality picture, rendering my last link useless, so I'll just embed this sumbitch here:
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What's that? You want photos that have no comprehensible through-line? Alright then, a peek into my life...
Double-fisting cheap beer while at a reception to accept an acting award:
With my sister the model:
Drunk out of my mind on Halloween '99 as Julius Caesar:
Promo shot for Cannibal! The Musical:
From "Save It!," the promotional video I wrote and starred in for Best Buy:
Intentionally homoerotic promo shot for LICK!:
And the Piece of Restistance, me performing as the top half of the exclamation point as my siblings, my wife, my brother's wife and I spell FUCK!:
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In the next couple days I'll hit up the one with the ones I forgot or played since I made the list. In the meantime, we're so close...
3. Super Metroid (1994, Super Nintendo)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 8. Plenty of difficult parts, plenty of things to find, plenty of paths to unlock.
Played it with: Myself.
Did I complete it? Yes. There's a "best ending" if it's beaten under some insane amount of time that I once missed by three minutes, though. I finally gave up and YouTubed it to see the best ending.
I adore this game so much I considered #1 for it. EGM's website handed this one the top spot of all time, and it occupies that spot on other lists I've seen as well. The simple brilliance of this one is that power-ups are hidden all over the game, and certain areas of the planet have to be revisited many times in order to unlock a different area somewhere else, which might be tedious except that there are bosses and constant upgrades to be found along the way.
A game design so amazing and well-received, it was basically blatantly ripped off by Castlevania: Symphony of the Night almost to the letter as far as style goes; luckily, I don't mind theft if it still results in an awesome game.
I know that the Metroid series has continued to be loved--perhaps even moreso--because of the first-person shooters they've created since abandoning this super awesome game design, but I think they'd be well served by getting over how 3D technology is so advanced and go back to making these perfect side-scrollers.
2. Final Fantasy IX (2000, PlayStation)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 8. Nothing embarrassingly impossible like the last Cloister of Trials on FFX, but many difficult bosses. And assloads of sidequests.
Played it with: Leif Bierly, Josh Mitchell, Greg Johnson, Cathy. Actually, I was playing this with Cathy the first time we hung out. Now we're married. Final Fantasy: Bringing People Together.
Others in the series I've played: All except XI, which is a massive multiplayer online game, which doesn't interest me. Most of them are awesome in some way, and a couple others would be in the top ten, at least, given repeaters. But I could go on for days about this.
I've agonized over this for months now...should this be first, or should the other game be first? I sided with the other game, but now that I'm typing this, it feels incorrect. I've spent more time playing FF games than doing probably any other leisure activity over the past fifteen years, owing to my introduction to the series by Jon Mullaly.
Though at first I thought it was weird to slow down the game by using a screen to give them potions and change their armor, over time this became exactly the type of strategy I love to employ, especially when done so well like in the later games. All things considered, I think the Final Fantasy games from VI to XII generally have better and more fun ways to level up characters than any game before or since.
I chose this one over the others because of the story. Besides being written stronger than the other games in the series (VII is also excellent, but the genre is a little different), the specific plot itself just appeals to me more. It begins with a traveling band of actors on a mission to kidnap a princess, and doesn't let up with the surprises and turns from there. Additionally, whereas most of the recent FF games start frustratingly slowly, this one plops the player into the action immediately, which runs at a faster pace in its first scene than some of the other games do all the way through.
Perhaps most importantly, there's hope here. One of the knocks of VII and VIII is that the characters are so overwhelmingly depressed (and depressing) that the game just sucks the life out of you. I think the bigger problem with VIII is that it feels like it was written by a third-grader, but the point is spot-on anyway. In Final Fantasy IX, each character has a specific arc, each learns and grows, and each has a sunny side, though for some it's well-hidden. Normally I only use one picture for each game, but in this case I'll make an exception for my favorite FF character, Vivi Orunitia.
I have a stuffed Vivi doll, too. Yep.
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Anyone who wants to read my movie script can request it here and I'll email it to you in PDF. Bloggy, I understand what that would mean for you, so if you want to read it but don't want to put your email address out there, you can either email me at foreverunchanged@gmail.com or go through someone who already knows your email address.
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 5 and 4 |
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I am a very busy man. This time, I'm serious. I won't talk about it much until I know what's what, but just trust me here.
Three more posts after this one: two separate ones for the remaining games, and one for the four or five games I've played in the seven months (!) since I started this list that probably would've found their way here.
5. Guitar Hero II (2006, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 1, 10 and anything in between, depending on the song and on the difficulty level one sets.
Played it with: Cathy, Josh Mitchell, my brothers, my sister, Nate Daly, and four guys in a single-elimination tournament at a bar in which I was the runner-up.
Did I complete it? Technically not. I've beaten it on Hard, but if the ultimate goal is to beat it on Expert, then no, I haven't gone back and done it.
Others in the series I've played: The original (good, but a lesser song list) and Guitar Hero Rocks the '80s (pretty lame song list and not enough songs, though the final song is crazy awesome).
This was a tough game to place simply because playing it bears no real similarity to the general game-playing experience. It's about rhythm and nothing else, but if there are enough songs that the player likes and the difficulty level is set correctly, it's truly exhilirating, and some of the most fun I've ever had with a game system.
When this came out, it was tough to get a lot of time to play it, because my two-year-old Mariana was likely to trip the guitar cord or generally distract me from the song. And by the time Mari was old enough not to be a butt about it, I had Miette, who is now a bigger butt than Mari ever was by far. Still, when the conditions are right, I'll throw it in for at least long enough to play "John the Fisherman."
4. Chrono Cross (2000, PlayStation)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 7. Some tough bosses here and there and some difficulties figuring out what to do next, but nothing impossible. The real challenge is recruiting every playable character; to do so, one must play the game three times on the same save.
Played it with: Solo.
Did I complete it? Yes, but like any game that asks the player to give three play-throughs to get every character, I didn't bother, and instead just played new games.
Other awesomes in the series: Its predecessor, Chrono Trigger. Also just totally kickass.
I was scared off a bit when I first paged through the strategy guide of this one, which for some reason was given to me for free. Forty plus playable characters? How would a game develop so many characters and still maintain a strong through-line?
I picked up the game anyway, since I loved the first one and figured the continuation couldn't be too horrible. It easily outstrips the first, as each character really does have a backstory (about ten are truly well-developed, while the others are just suggested or treated as B-stories). Further, there are two separate worlds here; one in which the lead character died in infancy, and one in which he's a hero in the making. The hero (I don't remember the name the game gives him as a default, but I call him "Scamp") jumps between worlds, recruiting other heroes, and quite often meets the same character in both worlds; sometimes the characters are only subtly different, and in some cases they've gone completely different directions.
Finally, an anecdote from when Josh Mitchell borrowed this from me to play it through: in the beginning of the game, the hero is seen in a scene that occurs much later between himself, a girl called "Kid," and a random third person from the game. In his case, the random character was "Fargo," a pirate. Meanwhile, Josh's gimmick with naming the characters was to name them all after people they reminded him of in real life. The hero, a wiry punk in a red bandanna, looked a lot like me at the time, so Josh named him "Wells." Summarily, the first line of the script that pops up was this:
Kid: We've got to get out of here! Wells! Fargo!
Awesome.
Nov. 4th, 2008 @ 11:39 am
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 7 and 6 |
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7. Kingdom Hearts II (2006, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 7. There's an optional boss (Sephiroth) who's more like 9 or 10, but I beat him too, bitches.
Played it with: Cathy.
Did I complete it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I got every single thing on this one.
Other awesomes in the series: The original Kingdom Hearts. Choosing one of these two was remarkably hard, because they definitely have their pros and cons. I still don't know if I picked the one I like better.
For anyone who doesn't know what these games are--I imagine that's no one--there's this kid Sora who teams up with Donald Duck and Goofy (and, later, King Mickey Mouse) and fights through the worlds of specific Disney movies to save his friends Riku and Kairi. The game contains over 100 characters from the Disney canon, as well as another 20 or so from the Final Fantasy series. I like both of those things, so it seemed worth a try, even if I was initially worried about the execution.
It's awesome. Many of the voice actors came on board, the storylines are true to the movies as well as being surprising at times, and seeing the Final Fantasy characters from various games interact, while impossible according to the FF series, is still wicked satisfying.
The idea was so gutsy because of the wide gap in subject matter; while love tends to conquer all in both series, the Disney movies are bright and kind and gentle (there are dark moments, but they're rarely for long) while the Final Fantasy games are sometimes soul-suckingly cruel and depressing. I guess I don't know quite how the two were married with such results that didn't just piss everybody off, but that's what great gameplay will afford you.
6. Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! (1987, Nintendo)
It was really hard to make that screen happen.
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 9, when you first play it. It's weird, though...if you play enough and muscle memory takes over, it becomes second nature.
Played it with: Don Pelto, Leif Bierly, Jon Mullaly, Ben Mullaly, Nick Wells, Nate Nicholson, Aaron Neussmeier, everyone else I knew. I have video of Leif, Nate, Aaron and I playing that in 1994 for some reason (for the few people who get this, it's after the end of one of the Look movies). Aaron mentioned how weird it was that we were playing a game that was seven years old...but I'd still play it now, and it's old enough to drink.
The single greatest sports game in history is this one, and it's based on a sport I don't even like (and, for that matter, a sports figure that I absolutely loathe). The game is officially just "Punch-Out!! Starring Mr. Dream" now, since the Tyson license lapsed long ago, but the game's popularity never did.
I haven't played this game in quite some time now, but I could still play it quite competitively and even probably get the order of the opponents either correct or close. I still sometimes say I'm going to the garage to get a "Soda Popinski." If I see a boxing match on TV at a bar with friends, I'll invariably say, "Come on, Mac! Dodge his punch, then counter-punch!"
While a series like Fight Night is praised for its bone-crunching realism, this is the ultimate boxing game because of the ridiculous cartoony nature of the opponents and the astoundingly brilliant gameplay. Every enemy has a weak spot that actually makes them easy to defeat (embarrassingly so, in the cases of King Hippo and the first Don Flamenco) once the secret is found, but if you don't find it, you're pretty well screwed in some cases.
In a videogame world where characters like Sephiroth, Dark Link, Kintaro, Dr. Wily, Virgil and The End are all spoken of as the toughest bosses in the world, it's this real-life boss--Mike Tyson--who might stand the tallest.
Oct. 23rd, 2008 @ 07:26 pm
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| » IMDbest |
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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3164833/
That's my page, bitches. But it'll be pretty bare bones until a period of 7-10 days (they verify everything).
Oct. 21st, 2008 @ 07:05 pm
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 9 and 8 |
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Wow, long time since the last. And we're so close, too.
9. Final Fantasy Tactics (1998, PlayStation)
(I played it in English, though)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 8. Some easy battles, some tough ones. There are actually one or two that are so difficult that, if you get to that point in the game without being properly leveled up, you might as well erase your gamesave and start over (this didn't happen to me, but I almost gave up once).
Played it with: I was utterly worthless to all around me while playing this one. Luckily, my kids weren't born yet. If they were, this game would've taken months.
Did I complete it? Yes. Very satisfying ending.
Just to make sure we're all on the same page, this does not count as my Final Fantasy game from the regular series, as it's a totally different series/concept. In fact, this game was originally conceived as nothing related to Final Fantasy, but the name was tacked on to sell it (it worked).
The game has a remarkably complex story of greed, ambition, politics and war in medieval times. It's told in reverse, as in the main character is apparently a hero that time forgot, where much of the historical praise went to a friend of his who didn't have his courage or ability. Unlike most Final Fantasy games where the death of a main, named character is a rare and major event, this game is littered with bodies at every turn, which is fitting given the subject matter.
Further, beyond the main, linear storyline, there's a long set of subquests where you can send out ancillary characters on other jobs while you're progressing the story. They come back after a few battles, but if they're not strong enough, they don't come back at all (or come back with a lesser reward). There's a ridiculous amount of gameplay here that is addictive, considering the simplicity.
8. Ninja Gaiden (1989, Nintendo)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: I'll say 9, but only because I promised a while back that there were no more 10s.
Played it with: Jon Mullaly. Ben Mullaly and my brother as well, but Jon more than anyone.
Did I complete it? Yes, but I'm not quite sure how.
For the record, I don't actually remember if this one is the best of the original trilogy (and I haven't played the recent ones), but this is the storyline that I remember most, so meh. It's sorta like Mega Man where the gameplay is exactly the same from installment to installment anyway, although this has a pretty complex story.
I remember a dark love story, and I remember that the lead character (Ryu Hayabusa) was searching for the grey ninja that murdered his father. And I remember that the game was shockingly cruel both to the characters and to the person playing it. I was always pretty good at videogames, which is fortunate, since I never would've gotten past the second stage if I hadn't.
This was my favorite platforming series way back before I knew what "platforming" meant and obviously is still way up there for me. The jumps were rough at times, the combat was intense, the bosses were badass and the graphics pretty well stretched the Nintendo. Best of all, it was the first time I'd played a game with such a deeply satisfying storyline, as I had become accustomed to things like "umm...your princess was kidnapped. Find her, please? Heh Heh."
Oct. 16th, 2008 @ 01:59 pm
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| » Videogame List so far (at Jon Mullaly's request) |
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When I mentioned that Jon Mullaly (commenting on MySpace, not here) might possibly know the last nine franchises represented, he asked to have them recapped so he had a chance at guessing. So, just 13 days after his request, here I am!
50BattleToads NES
49Donkey Kong Country SNES
48Fable XBOX
47Parasite Eve PSOne
46Wii Sports Wii
45TMNT: The Arcade Game NES
44Faxanadu NES
43Super Mario Kart 64 N64
42Ms. Pac-Man Atari
41Shadowgate NES
40The Eye of Judgment PS3
39Section Z NES
38Psychonauts PS2
37Contra NES
36Space Harrier II Sega
35Folklore PS3
34DuckTales NES
33Crash Bandicoot Warped PSOne
32Castlevania: Symphony of the Night PSOne
31God of War PS2
30Gauntlet NES
29The Adventures of Cookie and Cream PS2
28Trojan NES
27Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time PS2
26Tetris NES
25Viewtiful Joe PS2
24Kid Icarus NES
23Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy PS2
22ToeJam and Earl Genesis
21SmackDown vs. Raw: Here Comes the Pain PS2
20Suikoden PSOne
19Super Mario World SNES
18Beyond Good and Evil PS2
17Mega Man Anniversary Collection NES/PSOne/PS2
16MVP 2005 PS2
15The Addams Family Pinball
14We <3 Katamari PS2
13Jak II PS2
12Parappa the Rapper PSOne
11Sly 2: Band of Thieves PS2
10The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past SNES
Oct. 10th, 2008 @ 10:52 am
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Quick preface: I shoot one of my scenes tomorrow night. I found this out seconds ago. So...some memorizing is to be done today, then. At least it's the one scene where I'm clothed.
Okay then.
In Hell, there will be a long line of people waiting in line to talk to me. They'll be people that I only knew in passing, like awkward fathers of my friends or women who bugged me when I delivered their paper as a kid. And they'll be waiting in line to tell me about their dreams.
That's Hell.
So then...what will you face in Hell?
Oct. 7th, 2008 @ 09:54 am
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 11 and 10 |
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Here we are, faithful. And really, if you've stuck with this for all five-six months, you're faithful. After this post, everyone has to guess what games or franchises are represented. C'mon, it'll be fun! Guessing games are fun!
11. Sly 2: Band of Thieves (2004, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 6, which was a huge jump over the first.
Played it with: Went solo on this one.
Did I complete it? Yes. Hell, I couldn't tear myself away from it. I doubt this game even lasted a week, since I marathonned the shit out of it.
Other awesomes in this series: Both the first and third. Both are possibly list-worthy, but nowhere near this one.
Hey! I have a bucket hat of Sly Cooper, and my daughter could recognize and name him before she knew who Strawberry Shortcake was. I saw these around the store when I strolled the video game department every time I worked, but for whatever reason, assumed they were primarily kiddie games that were way too easy.
But...I have this thing where, through that big retail company, I can take tests about upcoming games, earn points, and get free stuff (there's a lot, but all I've ever gotten is games and, of course, a bucket hat). I got the first Sly Cooper game, and was stunned at the beauty and simple fun of it. The voice acting was strong, the characters are more interesting than most human characters in games, and the enemies are easily the most nuanced, shades-of-grey I've ever encountered in video game platformers.
Then Sly 2 became available on the site and blew the first one out of the water. All three heroes are used about equally for different missions, there are more and more interesting characters, and the difficulty is paced well so there's actually more of a learning curve. The final boss, too, is fairly tough if I'm remembering correctly (remember, I played a marathon of this. Hard to retain). The third Sly game is actually a bit of a letdown in comparison, although still worth playing.
10. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (1992, Super Nintendo)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 8. Almost 10 if you don't have a strategy guide, because sometimes the "what next?" factor is overwhelming.
Played it with: My brother Nick and stepbrother Rory, Jon and Ben Mullaly, Jon Ehrich, presumably many others I can't think of right now.
Did I complete it? I think I was reasonably close and suddenly I had no idea where to go next and stopped. A year or so ago, I downloaded it to my Wii Virtual Console, and I haven't finished it there, either. I really need to finish some games. Oh, and then there are about five I own that I haven't started. And when LittleBigPlanet comes out on October 21st, I don't think I'll be playing anything else.
Others in the series I've played: The Legend of Zelda (pretty good and certainly very important, despite Oliver's mental retardation), Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (pretty lame and nothing like the first; plus, a truly hideous title, as the first one and all subsequent ones are adventures starring Link as well), The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time (really awesome, but I had no N64 and therefore never played the whole thing), The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (both fun and different with awesome dungeon puzzles; I almost picked this one), The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (also awesome, also considered, also never finished despite having owned it for almost two years).
Zoinkers, this game knocked me on my ass. The music in the dungeons is haunting and memorable, it's a little darker overall, and the level creation was a thing of beauty. The dungeons weren't even huge or anything; it was just imperative that the player figure out how to get to the end of it, while revisiting rooms, moving things around, hitting switches and beating enemies until finally something clicked and the player understood what needed to be done. The bosses in this game are pretty well-conceived too (like in all Zelda games).
It's amazing to me that this series has continued its monumental popularity considering the fact that every single game in the series has the same basic plot outline. It's not like many years are passing like in Final Fantasy or Suikoden; it's more like Mega Man--or any action kids' show--with its predictable premise with the only change being ancillary characters and how the story is told. It's more amazing to me, I suppose, that despite this near-total lack of creative thinking, I continue to go back to the series over and over. But until they start pumping out crap, I'll probably keep doing so.
Alright, guys. Place your bets on the final nine. I'll send out imaginary $5000 e-cards as payment to the winners!
Sep. 27th, 2008 @ 09:45 am
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 13 and 12 |
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Just as I get rolling on the list again, I have to report that after today I'll be out of state (yes, the state I just moved to five days ago) for five days, as my brother-in-law is getting married in Texas, and my elder daughter is the Flower Girl. Is that capitalized? Meh.
13. Jak II (2003, PlayStation 2)
But Ashelin isn't merely a tough bitty, she's also smokin' hot. I almost used a shot of just her, but that seemed a bit wrong, as she's not a playable character...
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 9. Would be 7 or thereabouts except there's this one asinine mission to get from one end of a pier to another across rickety wooden walkways and on the way there are roughly eleventy quintillion Krimzon Guards. I shat myself with glee when I passed it. Impossibly, the second time I played through this one, I did it on the first try.
Played it with: It's one player, but Cathy was around, and her sister Cari gradually played through it every time she visited us from 2003-2004.
Did I complete it? Yep. 100% is probably nigh-upon-impossible, though. The sidequests, unlike on many games, are every bit as fun as the main storyline. They're as stupid as "get this orb that's sitting here from where you are in just eight seconds," but they're all so well-conceived that the whole thing is crazy-addictive.
Others in the series bumped because of this one: Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy (that's the clumsy title of the first one), which is crazy awesome, but focuses too little on plot and has a much more lighthearted feel. Jak III is pretty decent, but a very large percentage of the missions are spent in vehicles compared to II, and vehicle missions get downright boring as hell for me in a hurry, unless I'm playing GTA where it's the focus of the game. If I'm playing an action platformer, give me action and platforming, bitch!
Here's something I haven't said in quite a while: I shorted this game. But in this case, I believe I shorted it a lot. I actually think this should be around #3 or #4, but I'll just see out the list in the way it was originally written. Normally I'd say "que sera sera" there, but I'm told I overuse that term in print, even though I only use it for quasi-comedic purposes.
Jak II is the absolute perfect difficulty level for someone who's been kicking video ass for two decades. Nothing is so hard that maybe the developers should've taken a look at it before shipping it out, but there are challenges to be had everywhere. And when one mission is particularly difficult, it's laid out in such a way that you know you can pass it...you just haven't yet.
This game would be just about perfect even if it didn't have a story, but it has a pretty great one. Jak, saved by Daxter (formerly his best human friend who was turned into a little rodent called an Ottsel) after two years of imprisonment and experimental testing with volatile chemicals, sets out to find who did this to him and why, in addition to attempting to save the crime and corruption-ridden Haven City. It's a fine mix of humor and very dark subject matter that's reminiscent of action movies like Die Hard, and the characters both friend and foe are equally engaging (I'd say this has two of the better-developed villains in all of videogamedom) and integral to the sprawling plot.
There are three Jak games, all good to great, but this is the clear class of them. I'm fairly sure there's a good reason everyone would like this title, besides maybe the true wusses who can't handle things like a little bit of gloom and the sacrifice of a major character or two to move the story forward.
12. PaRappa the Rapper (1997, PlayStation)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: Like most rhythm games, brutal at first, then very easy once you've played for a while and muscle memory kicks in. Let's say 6, since even if you're good, the last song is fairly tough.
Played it with: Everyone on the fourth floor of Crawford in my sophomore year. I mean everyone, man. Jeremy Mikolai and Anthony Crep more than anyone else, but absolutely everyone popped in, often the dudes I either didn't like or whose names I didn't even know.
Did I complete it? Over and over and over.
Other in the series bumped because of this one: UmJammer Lammy, which is not so much a sequel as a spinoff featuring two middling characters from this one. It's harder. But the songs are equally fun and weird. I never played the actual sequel, which I heard was okayish. I think I never played it because the first one was such an indelible part of one of my best periods in college and I just didn't want to go back again with all the same people there. I'm sentimental that way.
Probably most everyone remembers the commercials for this show: people from various walks of life just singing the songs from the game, then a couple seconds of actual game footage of that song. At the time a great many people didn't know what the game was about or what you could possibly be doing, because despite the enormity of the rhythm genre in Japan, it had never really been brought to the States (it was one of those things where people just knew it wouldn't translate and therefore never tried). It ended up being a gigantic hit because it's funny, easy to learn but tough to master, and seriously f*&^in' weird.
The game plays out as a half-hour cartoon that would probably be rated 13 and up or so (there are some pretty overt references to drugs in the reggae track I pictured), although an IGN check tells me the game is rated E for Everyone. Huh. Anyway, there's a funny, stupid story that takes place between songs, and it primarily deals with PaRappa trying to impress Sunny Funny, his wannabe girlfriend (he's a dog, she's a flower; classic tale) and PaRappa's dreams of playing a large stage. Along the way it's established that Sunny Funny likes PaRappa best when he's constipated because it makes him grimace angrily and she finds that manly. It's the perfect party game, and probably the perfect game for drug addicts, which I'd stopped being a year before this one hit shelves.
Sep. 18th, 2008 @ 10:49 am
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| » How They've Changed |
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Monte requested hearing about the kids' reactions to my return a couple posts ago. So I saved up some other schmaltz for this post.
When I arrived here four or five days ago, both kids were sleeping. As much as I wanted to see them, this was actually pretty convenient because hey--I hadn't seen my wife in six weeks either...heh heh.
Two minutes later, I went to look in on the kids, and Miette had already woken up. She wanted no part of me, or at least being held by me. Cathy picked her up and fed her, though, and Miette stared at me all the while. After she'd been fed and up to now, she's wanted to spend a large percentage of her time with me.
She was different in a couple of ways; she does this clicking thing with her mouth now that she just thinks is the absolute greatest--particularly when another person does it back to her. She weighs more (duh). But the biggest things were that she has a ton more hair, which was jarring (the webcam is choppy/fuzzy enough that I didn't really see how much she'd gained) and that she now stands effortlessly, though she doesn't know what to do once she's up.
Mariana woke up just a few minutes later, primarily because I missed her and woke her up. She looked at me blankly a few times and looked around the room. This girl, at some point, will probably be a coffee addict for all the brains she has working when she wakes. After looking at me three times or maybe four, her eyes popped and she said "DADDY!", then hugged me and immediately thrust a Berenstein Bears book in my lap as if no time had passed. As time wore on, though, it was apparent that Mari thought I would be leaving again. It's not like she's had some realization to the contrary; she just keeps asking if I need to use the (rental) truck again and if I need to drive away.
Mari's three. Keep that in mind as I post this out-of-nowhere script for you, based on a true story from two nights ago.
It's 8pm. Mariana, drifting in and out of sleepiness, asks Kelly to look at a picture book with her. It's a book about the letter C.
MAR: (pointing) What's that?
KEL: Celery.
MAR: Oh. What's that?
KEL: Coffee.
MAR: Oh. What's that?
KEL: Corn.
MAR: Oh. What's that?
KEL: A camel.
MAR: I see. Camels have very good instincts.
KEL: (staring at her) ?!??!?! ...what?
MAR: You know...instincts for finding water.
Pause.
MAR: (pointing) What's that?
Pause.
MAR: Daddy, what's that?
KEL: (jarred) Oh. Sorry. That's a comb.
MAR: Oh.
Sep. 18th, 2008 @ 08:09 am
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 15 and 14 |
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15. The Addams Family (1992, Bally Midway)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: Compared to most other pinball games, about average, I'd say. There's plenty of play time, but to get the best modes you have to have pinpoint precision.
Played it with: Leif Bierly, Ben Mullaly, Nate Nicholson, Nick Wells...anyone who hung around the video store at which I worked.
Did I complete it? It's pinball, stupid.
Other pinball games that I considered putting on this list: Jurassic Park, Earthshaker, Super Mario Brothers.
This game is awesome. I had originally meant for this list to involve home console games only, but when this one and Ms. Pac-Man popped into my head, I realized I had to open up the floor. I'll say this, though, which I can't say for Ms. Pac-Man: if I owned this one, it's entirely likely I'd spend more time on it than any console game.
A quick net search of this one proved what I probably would've guessed--this is the best-selling pinball machine in history, at 20,720 units sold (well, I wouldn't have guessed the number of units sold, but I...okay, you get me). My benchmark for true success is whether the machine found its way to my hometown of Blue Earth, Minnesota, where there was just a single store that had arcade games after a time--my video store. And this one lasted a long time there. It was also in the game room when I went to college, where it remained for a couple years before the pinball games went away for some ridiculous reason (it's entirely possible the management had no idea that pinball has been much more popular than the arcade games for about fifteen years now, with the meteoric rise of consoles). Anyway, I hope you didn't blink, because that was the only arcade game and the last non-console game on the list.
14. We <3 Katamari (2005, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 8. Easy to beat, I think, but fairly difficult to really impress the king. That means nothing to someone who hasn't played it.
Played it with: Cathy, Leif, Josh Mitchell, my elder daughter. She calls it Rollin' Ball.
Did I complete it? Yes. The ending is awesomely fun. Such a stupid game shouldn't have such a satisfying ending, but it was better than an least half the endings of RPGs I've spent hundreds of hours with.
Others in the series that could've been on the list: Katamari Damacy, which was the original. But there's no reason for multiple titles from this series to be on the list.
Let me say this straight off: I don't know exactly how to explain why this game is so freaking awesome. Nobody does, I don't think. In this game, the King of all Cosmos even mocks the game itself, saying "just rolling a ball and making it bigger? It doesn't seem much fun to us." It's this kind of meta-humor, along with the endlessly brilliant premise, that makes this game so addictive (and for others, impossible to get into).
So you're this little dopey-looking Prince, and you're the son of the King of all Cosmos, who's basically a godlike figure. But he's pretty lazy, and when he accidentally gets rid of all the stars in the sky, he asks one of his countless sons to go to Earth, roll things up, and he'll make stars out of the resulting balls. Now, that whole storyline is a total MacGuffin meant to get us to the point where we're rolling up balls of stuff, but as MacGuffins go, it's pretty damned hilarious. So in each level, the Prince starts with a small or smallish ball, and can only roll up small things. As the ball grows bigger, he can absorb bigger things...it's especially funny when humans are introduced to the mix, as they scream and flail their arms as they're rolled up.
In addition, there are special levels like "try to get as close to this size as you can" and "roll up the biggest cow you can find," which is insanely hard because as you're growing your ball to the point where you can get a huge bull, you'll almost certainly accidentally run over a pylon with holstien spots, which apparently counts as a cow. If this paragraph sounded stupid to you, that's probably good. But if it sounded funny-stupid to you, you should drop everything and buy both of these games immediately. I mean it.
Sep. 15th, 2008 @ 09:06 am
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| » Moving |
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Long story short, the list and other updates have ground to a complete halt thanks to my need to pack my embarrassing amount of crap for my move to Washington. I'd think about adding to the Vid list right now, but my home team is playing Monday Night Football at the moment and I'm taking a much-needed break. Though, to be honest, I wish I had more beer. This is the time for that. And I wish I had some freaking friends around...as a stroke of bad luck would have it, the bulk of people I care for the most are out of town in my final week here. Lame.
Anyway, I hope to have something to say--and some time to say it--soon. But realistically, after I get to Washington, I'll probably spend every waking second with my daughters for a week or so.
Sep. 8th, 2008 @ 07:33 pm
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 17 and 16 |
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As I get closer and closer to the ending, it gets tougher and tougher to get up the will to do these, since I'm getting fewer and fewer replies. WTF, guys (I say guys because apparently, based on all the responses I've gotten, no girl anywhere plays video games).
17. Mega Man Anniversary Collection (2004, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: This is about 12 games in one. I'd say it ranges from 6-9. Most of the games are pretty damn hard near the end.
Played it with: Cathy. And at the time of their original releases, everyone else. Mainly my brother Nick and Jon Mullaly, I'd say.
Did I complete it? I've beaten many of the games in the series, but not all. So...technically no...?
This is a total cheat...the right thing would've been to pick one game in the series (Mega Man 2, if I'm remembering correctly), but since the first 10, 12 or whatever games were put into one PS2 disc, I went for it. The premise for each and every game is the same: an evil dickish mad scientist (usually Dr. Wily, which most of my brother's friends retardedly referred to as "Dr. Willie," although I think another mad scientist or two was mixed in) has created eight (give or take) evil robots for whatever reason. World domination, I suspect, though I can't really remember and it totally doesn't matter because the story isn't a big deal in this series. Mega Man and sometimes a buddy or extra gadgets are sent after the evil robots, and after Mega Man destroys all of them, he's able to go to the lair of Dr. Wily, which usually ends up being shockingly/appallingly long, with several more--usually enormous and beautifully drawn--mechanical bosses.
There. You now know the storyline to every game on this disc, which is the only real knock I have against this series. For instance, I remember without hesitation that the above photo is from the Bubble Man level, I remember what Bubble Man looks like and how he fights. I even remember that, on that game, the only way to beat the final boss is to use Bubble Man's special weapon, which is called the "Bubble Lead." Despite all this, I can't remember for my life which Mega Man game it's in. Two, maybe? I'm thinking anywhere between 2-6 (I'll look after this, because now I'm annoyed. But it's not like the answer's going to be interesting or inspiring. "Hmm. It's that number," I'll say).
Anyway, it's the bosses that really make this series great. They're interesting, unique, and all provide a challenge for the brain as well as the fingers. Yep. Good stuff, that.
16. MVP Baseball 2005 (2005, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 7. Really quite difficult for a baseball game, which I appreciate. I'm quite good at the pitching...less so at the hitting. Interestingly, that's actually me as a kid: good pitcher, great fielder, abso-shitty hitter.
Played it with: Greg Johnson, Josh Mitchell. I think. That may have been a previous baseball game, though. Well, it certainly was a previous game. But I think we played this one together too.
Did I complete it? Actually, no. I just pick it up periodically and play a couple games and never finish the mammoth season like I plan to. Plus, there are eight jillion unlocks, of which I've only scratched the surface, and realistically by the time I'm thinking of picking it up again, I'll have a baseball game for the PS3.
Why this one? Well, of all baseball games ever, it's the one that has the smoothest play. For anyone who doesn't know (and all of you should), baseball is my favorite thing of all things that are not alive. I like it more than video games, in fact. I might even like it more than sex. My love for video baseball started way back with RBI baseball, still charmingly great after 20 (holy crap) years, continued with Bases Loaded, and eventually translated to this game.
EA Sports was, like with most of its series, making a shitty baseball game that was still the most popular because people are sheep and pay for the EA name no matter what product they put out. It was called "Triple Play," and honestly, I can't tell you what a joke it was. On the very hardest level, I would score a minimum of ten runs a game effortlessly. I won't bore you with how the batting engine worked, but it was embarrassingly easy. Even worse was the pitching: without trying very hard, I'd throw a perfect game probably once out of every eight or ten games (for those who don't follow baseball, there have been fifteen perfect games in all of baseball history. I would give my left everything to witness a perfect game, even on television).
But in 2005, MVP Baseball came out. Every aspect of the game was increased to the point where they went from most shitty and overhyped to blowaway best baseball game in the industry. There are great mini-games, awesome old fields that can be unlocked (including the old Met! WHOOOO!) and a fielding engine that actually makes me forget I'm playing a video game, it's so smooth. Sadly, because EA were dicks and denied all other video game developers the right to create NFL video games when they bought the exclusive rights (they could've allowed the games to be made while still being the only series pimped by the NFL), another company bought the exclusive rights to the major leagues and disallowed only EA from making an MLB game. I was pretty pissed (and remain so, although another great baseball series has surfaced), but it's their own damned fault. Fucking EA.
Aug. 30th, 2008 @ 10:03 pm
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| » 2008 FFTL Coaches |
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Regulars, you can ignore. This is the unnecessary poster I made of the coaches in my Fantasy Football League.
Aug. 24th, 2008 @ 12:26 pm
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| » Top 50 Videogames: 19 and 18 |
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19. Super Mario World (1991, Super NES)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 4.
Played it with: Everyone. But Nick, mostly.
Did I complete it? Yep, plenty of times.
Others in the series I've played: Mario Bros. (repetitive, but good for the time), Super Mario Bros. (still pretty good), Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels (awesome, and pretty hard), Super Mario Bros. 2 (I LOVE this game, despite the total inconsistency with the rest of the series), Super Mario Bros. 3 (I don't like it as much as everyone else, but it's good), Super Mario Sunshine (pretty great, but very weird concept). I haven't played Super Mario Galaxy yet, which looks pretty badass.
There's probably not much I can say here that people don't know. I certainly don't have to give backstory or explain what the game is all about.
I chose this one because it was such a giant leap forward...it truly showed off the SNES's power over the NES, and the gameplay was just so smooth and seamless.
I had a tough time choosing between this and Super Mario Bros. 2, which wasn't even a Mario game when it was created in Japan--but the actual Super Mario Bros. 2 was deemed too difficult for American audiences (it wasn't) and a different game was just ported with the only changes being the four main characters. Plus, I played Super Mario Bros. 2 with Jeremy Mikolai, Anthony Crep, Josh Mitchell and Missy Fuechtmann for countless hours in my dorm room, with the five of us (or whatever 3-5 of us were there) trading off levels, eventually playing so much that we were consistently doing it without dying once. Yeah, those were pretty awesome times. Should've picked that one, I suspect.
18. Beyond Good & Evil (2003, PlayStation 2)
Difficulty from 1 to 10: 6. 9, if you like to get everything.
Played it with: Cathy.
Did I complete it? I did this super dumbass thing. I went into one enormous tower where my mission was to take three surveillance photos. The place was hard as hell to navigate, awesome and fun as it was. Hours and hours later, I got out of the building...only to find out that I'd forgotten to take one of the three photos. So...no. I was close to the end, too. Instead, I watched Cathy play the end of it.
This is probably the very best game that never got a huge amount of attention. Well, that's a pretty ballsy suggestion, but it's up there. Beyond Good and Evil is about Jade, a Guy Fawkes-type freedom fighter who joins an underground group against a cartoonishly corrupt government. At her side is a bumbling superhero-type geek and a talking pig who walks upright. Despite this, the subject matter gets fairly serious.
Along the way, besides a pretty decent fighting scheme, the game is primarily about "how the hell do I get there from here?" and focuses far more on platforming and adventure. Also, you take photos of every animal you see on the way, which is an oddly addictive addition to the game. I can't necessarily pinpoint which aspect of this game makes it so awesome, but it all works in sync to become so.
Also: Jade gives me a boner.
Aug. 23rd, 2008 @ 11:57 am
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| » TJ Timebomb's Blogging Survey |
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I don't know TJ Timebomb besides as a name on Monte's blog, but this is a pretty not-so-bad survey.
Why did you choose LiveJournal as the home of your blog?
I didn't really choose to blog in the first place. I followed Scott Keith's wrestling site for several years and followed him to LJ when he set up a blog here. When he nixed anonymous posting, I created an account. I didn't plan on using it besides to respond (and for a while, that's what happened), but then I met Monte, started perusing his blog, and decided what the hell?
Then I started friending Monte's friends and in the meantime grew uber-weary of Scott Keith even before he left LJ. I go on long periods of not blogging for no reason I can figure, but I like the site.
Do you have any other blogs on other sites like Blogspot or Deadjournal?
I think I have a blogspot account to respond to things, but I haven't used it otherwise. I use the blog on MySpace for my lists and stuff, but not for much else.
How long have you been blogging?
That's hard to answer since I didn't start blogging when I got the account. About four years, I guess.
Do you think you will still be blogging five years from now? How about ten?
Yeah, I think so. As long as a few people respond, it's worth it. I like having people I know but who aren't people I know in person to bounce things off of. That's what draws me to this site the most--the anonymity, even among people who have become great friends.
Do you ever get the feeling that this shit is rather childish and just wanna stop writing anything in it?
There are people who treat "blog" like it's something besides a medium. Mainstream media uses "blog" interchangeably with "stupid people who have blogs, plus stupid people who comment on blogs." I realize they have to protect their dying mediums, but that shit is a lot more childish than most things you'll find on blogs.
Anyway, only active childishness can make blogging childish.
Finally... Why do you blog?
Oops, sort of answered this. But I'll add that I love to have immediate feedback/discussion on what I write. It keeps me writing, which keeps me sharp and focused.
It's worth mentioning that I should be showering instead of blogging right now, but the Twins are on, which is keeping me from doing it. So right now I'm blogging because the Twins are trying to shut down the Yankees.
And with that, I'll fizzle out. Sorry I didn't go out with a bang here.
Aug. 13th, 2008 @ 02:40 pm
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